So, you probably have already realized I'm something of a Wendell Berry fan. I am continually amazed at how well he can articulate the state of the world, the reasons for it, and the interconnectedness of all things. I am equally awed by his ability to propose solutions, real solutions, and his understanding of why we're not moving towards those. Although our training is worlds apart, I feel like he is a kindred spirit in the work I'm doing. I mention him because of that intersection. He's helped me to clarify what I'm experiencing in session with a wide range of folks from a wide range of places (I've recently begun accepting Skype sessions with a select number of people). Many of the people I am seeing are in this truly deep state of depression that seems to require medication because it just won't resolve. Now, you will hear people throw out terms like "clinical depression" as if to differentiate from I know not what but I think it's to imply a biological origin that requires medication as opposed to something you can "fix". Interestingly, I see many of these people when they've run out of medication options and are still struggling. Now, before we go any further, let me assure you, they are very much struggling. What I am struggling with, in the face of their struggles, is that no one is talking about why people are struggling. No one is talking about the fact that people are achieving more, we have a higher standard of living across the board than ever before, in North America and lower life satisfaction. Why would that be? It's not probable that as an organism, our ability to process information and turn it into moods has evolved so the majority of people need some type of psychotropic to get through the day - and they're still depressed/miserable/exhausted. Evolution just does not work that quickly (consider our wisdom teeth, for example). The fact is that we're struggling because as a society, we're constantly getting a message that we, as individuals, aren't good enough, we aren't rich enough, organized enough, fancy enough, posh enough, happy enough, beautiful enough. No matter what we buy, it's not the right house, car, clothes, food - even if it was when we bought it. We should be fit and at the gym all of the time but at home with our kids or developing our creative pursuits, or committed to our work and exhausted by it but also fulfilled and doing work we feel passionate about and invigorated by with a smile on our face and a firm commitment in our hearts. But also at home helping our kids with their homework or volunteering, and making homemade everything. Our kids should be perfect and model children but also free to express themselves and be creative but also academic and athletic and independent and thoughtful but not cause too much of a fuss or go against the grain. And we should have me time but also self care (and no, they are not the same thing) but be 100% committed to our place and 100% committed to our family. Do you see where I'm going here? My currently feeling is, to put on my therapist hat, that we're living in a world where the adults are actually being pushed into an adolescent role and that is not healthy. The State will take care of everything for you - just buy things and keep the economy going and it will all work out. Except it's not, is it? Our epidemic of antidepressants and other medications would be the biggest sign of that. I was at a training a couple of years ago that really opened my eyes to the problem. The presenter - a psychologist who happened to also be a lawyer - gave us the stat that one of the biggest areas of growth in prescription medications was in 2-3 year old children who are being given psychostimulants for deficits of attention. Now, I don't know how much you know about 2-3 year olds but they are most definitely the poster child for deficits of attention and they're supposed to be. That doesn't say to me we have an epidemic of children who *need* medication, bad parents, or bad doctors. It says that as a society, we have no idea about whats normal development, and we put unrealistic expectations on a wide range of people starting around age two, it seems. We're also putting unreasonable expectations on the parents - toddlers are messy and can be loud and busy and they should be. If we medicate away what's normal, especially in a brain that's developing and changing that quickly, what harm might we be doing? And these poor parents have no idea where to turn - they just know that they have the "bad" kid, the one who doesn't fit the model and they don't know what to do so they turn to the experts. It's a pretty sick system. Instead of worrying we're missing the 1 kid who might really need some pharmaceutical help, we've cast such a wide net that a statistically significant number of families and kids have been caught in it. Where's the harm? Well, even if we know that the medication isn't altering brain function in a substantive way (something research has proven not to be true but I won't get into that here) the fact is that for me, this puts the onus back on the person as a flawed individual. It's not that each individual is inundated with messages that they can't possibly live up to, it's that something is wrong with you as a person. You're flawed and in need of help except that you're not. Much like a teen who is torn between the values of family, their social group, media pressure, and school, I'm seeing more and more people unsure and scared they'll mess up. And you know what, they're right. Life is messy people. We all step in the muck from time to time. It's not stepping in the muck that's the problem, it's how we stay in it until someone comes to get us out. If no one comes then what? The fact is, most of us have the tools to get ourselves out, we just need some elbow grease and we can do it. The biggest hurdle I'm seeing is that no one wants to walk around with muck on their shoes but we've all got some. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less but no one of us are immune. Some of us can buy new shoes and hide each mucky pair in the closet but eventually, the closet fills up. We forget too that muck serves a purpose - it's cleansing, its fertilizing, without it we don't grow. So, embrace your muck, believe in yourself, and start having faith that you know more than you think. The Powers That Be will only take care of you for as long as they get something out of it but that's ok, you don't need them. You just need to believe in yourself, rely on the people you have real relationships with, and don't fear the muck._
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I love it when my plants work together. Here we have a gooseberry (all harvested) and a grape (eaten by deer fruitless) holding up a massive Hokkaido squash. Even though this year has been soooo hot it's been unpleasant, the produce is loving it. I've never had so many cucurbits growing so early.
In addition to the Hokkaidos, we have some pumpkins and more cukes than I know what to do with. And while relish and dills are great suggestions... I recently cleaned out my cold room and really need neither of those, likely for years, actually. So far we've been living off cucumber salad - cukes sliced thinnish, sesame oil, rice vinegar, water, and a bit of sugar. Topped with some gomashio. Delicious. So, as we slid closer to the other side of summer gardening season, new questions start to crop up. One I have been asked about is... how do you know when to harvest your potatoes? Especially when they look like this: I mean seriously - how can you see those blooms and not be thinking... can I eat these yet? Such a good question - how do we know our potatoes are ready for eating? So, you probably planted your potatoes much earlier this year. Don't know much about growing potatoes? Let's start there then. You'll want to plant seed potatoes, rather than just grocery store ones, even organics. I've found that even with the organic ones (the non-organics are treated to keep them from sprouting), the yield isn't great and sometimes the potatoes never really get big. So, consider purchasing some seed potatoes from a reputable provider. You can't (I think) ship potatoes across the border so buy from your own country. Ideally, you'd want to get them well before it's time to plant. That way, you can chit them well in advance of planting. I've seen two explanations of chitting -one is to just let them be in a light place and grow long shoots; the other is when you cut them into quarters and let the sides harden a bit before planting. Either way, get them well before planting, and place them in an egg carton with the most eyes up. By the way the side with the most eyes is called the rose. So, plant them rose side up. Once they eyes have grown to about an inch long, plant them out according to your local calendar and their variety - there are earlies, mids, and lates. Smart planters want all three :) And yes they're a bit sensitive to frost but you can mitigate that by covering them in a bit of row cover. So, you can plant them a few ways. You can plant them old school - in depressions that allow you to mound up soil around them as they grow. Or newer school - in a container. Either way, adding dirt as they grow up will mean more potatoey deliciousness for you. Continue to water regularly and mound up the soil.
With earlies, you can start digging (carefully - use your hands not a shovel) for new potatoes once you see the blooms fully open and definitely once they're dropping off. The longer you wait, the larger the potatoes get. With maincrops (as the mids- and lates are called) you're supposed to wait until the foliage starts to turn yellow and gives up. And then 10-14 days after that (depends on who you ask) you can lift them. I am not the best at keeping track of which type is which so I'm often scrabbling around the base of the plants once the blooms are visible. Also - I love potatoes and by the time they're blooming, I'm so excited that I just need to eat some fresh from the garden. If you aren't going to devour them straight away, you're best to leave them sitting out to dry before storing. This helps to harden the skin and preserve them. Best ways to eat potatoes? I love new potatoes boiled and then tossed with a bit of butter and fresh herbs from the garden. I also love potatoes roasted, baked, and mashed. I just love them and that's all there is to say about that. Now I don't know about you but here we re having a major drought. Summer came early and it came hard. I have raspberries ripening about two weeks ahead of schedule and lacking about two week's worth of flavour. Bummer. Everything's kind of like that this year too. So, here I am thinking about the fall and wanting to be sure I have an awesome garden that sustains us and I have no idea of how to go about that. Is it a warm El Niño year, or a cold one? I have no idea. Both seem to be written about. And if the season is two weeks (or more) ahead, will we have a longer growing season or an earlier winter? Yikes! So many decisions and as you all know, two weeks can mean the difference between life and death for a young plant. So, to that end, I've decided on a couple of courses of action. First of all, I'd always thought we were Zone 4 and truthfully, I'm sure we are some years. But largely we're just not. More like Zone 6 according to most of the hardiness charts. So, I'm going to garden as though we're Zone 5. I'm not just splitting the difference. I think if I go with the expectations that it will be a slightly harder, slightly earlier start to winter, likely the plants will survive. After all, it's better to have them a little mature at the start of winter, rather than too young. So, better to have it be all a bit more mature and harvest it sooner than have this happen too early: Though I confess, by the time it comes I will so be happy to see it! So, my plan is to use one of the garden planners to figure out what I need to be planting and when. Now, if you're super fancy, you could use this frost date finder along with this handy chart of temps that keep plants happy. While I am super fancy (of course) I'm also going to cheat and use something like this: Here's another one specifically for zone 5. Either way, it's definitely not too early to start thinking about which delicious things you'd like to eat over the winter fresh, from your own garden or greenhouse. And also think about ways to make that happen.
Not sure what I mean about that? Well, that will be a great topic for the next post, won't it? 'Night! So, we live in a world where busy-ness is a normal way of life and exhaustion, its partner. I've seen a lot of "recover from exhaustion" posts but not many of them apply to parents (especially single parents) or even people with other day to day obligations. So, here are a few tips to help you feel less exhausted and more grounded without telling you to quit your job, take a day of silent, private, contemplation, or other thing many of us really can't do.
1) Take your shoes off. Ideally, you'll read this in warm and not too wet weather and you'll take your shoes off outside and walk barefoot in some grass, or a garden, or somewhere that you can really feel the earth. Are you parenting/caregiving? If so, take the people you care for to walk in the grass with you. If you can't get outside, grab a small towel and a straight backed chair. Put the towel on the floor by your feet and using only your toes, scrunch the towel up, moving it along until you've worked the towel all of the way along to the end. I learned about this from my cousin, the Cranky Daoist (also a professor of Traditional Chinese Medicine) and it works like a charm. He uses it to deal with jet lag. I'm finding it works well with life lag. My instructions make no sense at all? Well thank Dogs for the internet. Here's a video on You Tube that shows a demonstration. Can't do that? Try this next one. 2) Make yourself a cup of tea, hot chocolate, coffee, warm milk, hot water and lemon, anything you find comforting (ordinarily). When the beverage is the right temperature - not cool but not hot enough to scald you - take a sip and don't swallow. Instead, close your eyes. Take a moment to savour the flavour and identify it. Is it rich? Sweet? Bitter? Astringent? Soothing? Alert-inducing? What does it make you think of/remind you of? Swallow it and take another drink. Go deeper into it. What do you taste? What good memories come up? Bad memories? No room for them, just the good and savouring ones. One more sip and just totally savour it. 3) Shower. I know this is a difficult one for a parent, especially a single parent. If you don't have a daycare option, see if you can trade with a friend to watch your kid(s) and then you'll watch theirs. You only need about 15 minutes, though you'll likely want more. I just did this one so I'm intimately acquainted with it. It's shocking and rejuvenating and I think you might know where I'm headed. Yep, cold shower. Sometimes I like to have cold and then warm, sometimes, like today, I need the shocking, liberating, freeing effect of all cold. Sometimes I do cold, warm, then cold, it all depends on the day and my mood and all of those variables. Whatever your mood and where ever you want to place the cold, let it shock the bad, blah, dark, angry, whatever is holding you back, right out of you. Let it shock it out and carry it off. It can be returned to the earth and recycled. If you need soothing, you can follow it up with a hot shower but sometimes it's best to just hop out of the shower right after and leave all of the gik (yeah, you read that right) behind. 4) Another recycling option- find a place in nature. Ideally it will be a quiet, private place where you can be alone (I'm giggling a bit remembering how easy that would have been with a four year old). It's ok with you can't be alone - you can teach this one to your kids. Lean against a tree or, if you have no trees around, be close to plants or growing things. You must be in contact with something natural for this to work and while trees work best, it doesn't have to be a tree. Make contact with the earth - with your feet, sitting, or even laying on the earth. Imagine there is a conduit running from your spinal column into the earth and everything bad, yucky, or negative is going through you and into the earth for recycling. Be there for as long as it takes to feel cleansed, or until someone needs a snack/potty/ other demand and you have to get up. Teach your kids to do this too. Let the earth take all of the stress and troubles and cares. You still have to deal with your day to day life but the earth can take some of the stress from them. 5) Plant something you can eat. You might not have money, time, or space for a garden or even a packet of seeds. Most food banks, permaculture centres/programmes, etc. can help get you started, often at no charge. All you need is a pot and something like calendula seeds or nasturtium seeds. Not only are these edible (so safe for small people) they'll absolutely brighten up your life and are pretty fool proof. Seeds+dirt+ water = sprouts. A bit of sunlight= growth and blooming. They're low maintenance. You'll be amazed at how they brighten things up. 6) Forage something yummy. There are few things more fun (for me, but maybe because I'm weird?) than getting some food for free. This is also an adventure you can take your kids on but make sure, before you eat anything or feed it to anyone else, that you really have what you think you have. Some things, like Hawthorn berries or Rowan berries don't taste like much but make good liqueurs. Other things, like lambs lettuce, can be steamed or sautéed to eat - find a reputable foraging site and get hunting! Here are a few I love (in no particular order): http://www.urbanoutdoorskills.com/ http://www.christophernyerges.com/ http://www.urbanhuntress.com/ http://outdoorselfreliance.com/ http://www.selfsufficientish.com/main/ http://www.eatweeds.co.uk/ http://nordicfoodlab.org/ So, that's a decent smattering from the northern hemisphere. I know there are others and please do send them to me if you'd like them included. That concludes your six tips to help get you back online when things are feeling off. They shouldn't cost you anything, can mostly be done if you're caregiving, and don't require too much effort. Happy doing. It's been raining here and I am so glad. It was frightening to see the forest so dry so early in the season. We had a good day of rain yesterday and today, we woke up to overcast skies. Here's hoping there's more today. It's funny how we crave the sun and forget that water is every bit as important to our gardens.
Also it can be beautiful and such a gift to be curled up with a good book while the rain comes down. Is this not the season of the sprout? In the greenhouse, so many things are finally coming up. These are from a few days ago - Thursday, I do believe. There are pea shoots, broccoli and cauliflower. The peas went into the garden this past weekend. The broccoli and cauliflower should be getting divided into their own wee pots this coming weekend. These ones are corn - a gorgeous, multicoloured kernal corn, angelica (which I have never yet been able to start from seed), and artichokes (never before attempted for the garden).
I know it may seem like we're behind compared to where you are. Here, there is still frost on the water buckets when we get up in the morning. And, while we don't worry about stuffing the fire up, we do have a fire before bed and one again in the morning to take the edge off. This is Zone 4. I am a maker. I love to make things -whether yarn, garden beds, bread, books, or messes. It's taken me a long time to figure that out. I love to have my farm and I love to write and I love lots of things but at the end of the day, I love to learn the process of making things; and I don't care about finishing them
It's also more than being a craft person or artist - I feel like it's a bigger thing. I first started thinking about this when I looked into a Craft Council membership. They had a questionnaire about how you identify - craft person, artisan, artist, maker, crafter, etc. I often use craft as a descriptor but I think there is something deeper than that and different. And, I'm told, when you say "craft" people think "arts and crafts" and glue sticks and glitter. While there is nothing wrong with glitter and glue sticks are important in book making, I can see what they're getting at. Craft person seems pretty specific and I used to identify with it - but what about all of the things I am making that don't have a purpose beyond art? That's not (technically) craft. And writing? Some people say that writing is a craft, some say art. And then there are textiles. For a while I was happy to call myself a textile artist but then I had a well intentioned friend tell me paper crafts aren't really part of textiles. And sure enough, she's right. So, back to the drawing board. Artisan has a kind of "old world" connotation that appeals to me but that's not quite right either. And while some of what I do is really old world, a lot of it has a really new world kind of spin on it. Beyond that, there is a whole bunch of social weight to all of these terms and you have to be prepared for that, no matter what you call yourself. If you're a crafter, you get the 'little kid, glue sticks, and glitter' vibe, an artist shouldn't be making things that are functional, an artisan must be using old world techniques. And what if you're a potter who makes textile items to add texture to your pottery or glazes? And maybe you sell some of the textiles as art? How do people make sense of that? And, congruent with my personality, I have no interested in being penned up in a box where I should or shouldn't be doing anything. There are some great debates on art vs craft here and here oh, and here too. Maker is just coming into the discussion. I don't love the word actually but it seems closer than anything else I've head in English. Right now, I'm settled on maker. Happy Beltane! Although the Autumn is my favourite time of year, I do love Beltane, I think most of us do, even if we don’t have pagan leanings. What’s not to love about the returning warmth, animals being born, food starting to grow. There is both joy and relief, at this time of year. In addition to all of the above, this is traditionally the day that the folks in various parts of Northern Europe turn their animals out to the fields. It’s also believed to be the day the faeries return from their winter hideaways. My sprouts were a bust (due to negligence) so we won't have those for tonight's feast. I do think I'll grab a chicken from the freezer and see what's up around the yard. Alongside the chicken we'll no doubt have some new potatoes (not mine, they're not ready yet) and carrots. Probably we'll have some fairy cakes and oat cakes and asparagus (the season just started here) along with a lemon tart (to symbolize the sun) or an apple pie (or both, because yum!) and loads of cream. But for now, I’m jumping on board the Suzuki Foundation 30X30 campaign. I’ll be playing with goats, weeding (maybe collecting cleavers for cleaver beer), watering the greenhouse and hanging out laundry. Are you up for the 30X30? I have so appreciated the notes sent through the contact us page but there are two themes emerging that I would like to address. Conveniently, they relate to each other. The first is: I think you're advocating for simpler, sustainble living but it's such hard work. The answer is: yes, it is. I am so tired of blogs and webpages that promote this lifestyle as a "grow the flour to have your cake and eat it too" kind of lifestyle. It's just not that. What's happening because so many resources are making it look simple is people jump in with both feet and not looking, buy goats, and chickens, and land with the plan to live off it. That's great, if it works. More and more and more people I know are doing this rapid fire downshift in an upsizing way and it's actually hurting them. I think it's got some big implications for the planet as well, and I know it's got implications for the animals they're purchasing. So yes, this lifestyle is hard work. You have to be up to feed goats whether or not you feel like, chickens also need to be fed, coops need to be cleaned, gardens weeded. It really doesn't stop. For some of us, it's like a vocation. It's not that we walk around the farm with our halo firmly intact, we bitch and moan and grumble but if you've drunk the Kool Aid (as it were) chores aren't 'Chores'. I think the work aspect is the thing that people comment on the most - that and the cuteness of the goats. It's like somehow they think I don't know this is hard work. The hardness of it is also the thing I have started commenting on the most too. It's not that I want to discourage people because I think if we all adopted a bit of this lifestyle, we could manage a lot of change; it's just that I think the repercussions of people leaping in are too high. I used to tell people about the jobs - like kidding/lambing season where you wake up and there are babies running around playing. I didn’t really get into the three sleepless weeks when I still had to parent and go to work and be able to make good decisions. I also didn’t tell them about the heart ache of losing babies, especially when you think maybe it was something that could have been prevented if you’d just… I didn’t tell them about the times when your whole family is down with the pukey flu and you still have to drag your butt out of bed to feed and secure animals. Or the ‘OMG, how I am paying for this vet bill. Thank Dog I still have an ‘off the farm’ job’ moments. Or the nights when a cougar steals one of your goats because you forgot you no longer have a Pyr to keep them safe so you don’t lock them up… and you’re supposed to be travelling an hour and a half away to a family birthday supper. Your Reluctant Goatherd spends the day building building building and when you all get home, at midnight, he’s building, building, building some more. Or when you’re running late to get to work and fling open the door to the coop only to find that the reason your dog kept you up with barking (that you wished would stop but instead of letting him out to do his work, you kept telling him to shut up and went back to sleep because you were so tired) was because a bob cat managed to sneak into a hole in the coop and have a duck party. Now you have about a dozen dead and dying ducks, as well as a few chickens to deal with. And you were already running late. So, your teen aged son deals with the euthanasia while you finish sobbing/getting ready for work. And then your husband is home that night when it manages to be both wet and -20*C and is redoing the soffits (or facia, I never know) of the coop so there will be no more bobcat predation. On when you’ve just rung in New Years with friends and family and you spend the next evening trying to keep a dying goat alive. And then you spend the next day packaging up the body to send to the Provincial et because no one can figure out why he (or his brother) died but sister is fine. It’s not that I want to talk you off this path, if I did, I wouldn’t bother with this blog. It’s just that while the Lamb Olympics and Gambolling Goats and Cute Chicks are such a a wonderful reality, so are these things. And these are the things that seem to catch people by surprise. That and the hauling of hay (and water, unless you’re super fancy which I am not) and so on and so on.
I think those of us who write about and advocate for this style of living are partly to blame. We’ve sheltered far too many of you from the flip side of it all because we were SO EXCITED and SO COMMITTED but it’s not the right way to go about it. When I read articles like this one I am seriously surprised. You were shocked that doing things you've previously outsourced would take time and effort? Really? There is a reason that the whole agrofood complex has been able to suck most of us in. Because growing and preserving your own food is damn hard work. But the pay offs are huge too and every time I think I’m going to throw in the towel (and my husband starts doing the happy dance -he tries not too but…) I just can’t. That leads me to the second theme emerging from the “contact us” notes. How do you do it? Where do I start? What do I do? I do not recommend that you read a few books or blogs and go from an urban environment never having raised your own food in any real way to opt out and come to a rural area to "live off the land". Can it be done? I think it could but not by just anyone. I have had more phone calls and emails over the years from people who did just that and couldn't I take their goats/chickens/ducks/rabbits/cows/whatever because it turns out you need money to live (especially if you've made no changes to your lifestyle) and animals really get in the way of taking holidays and and and. I don’t recommend starting off with chickens or goats or livestock guardian dogs or any of those other things that can seem like a super cute and awesome idea (and it is) until you’re stuck with the reality. I do recommend that you give some thought to what is drawing you to the lifestyle and work back from there but start off small. Maybe start off making your own jam one year and maybe plant a very small garden with stuff you would like (like a salad pot with greens and cherry tomatoes). Make your own laundry soap (yep, instructions to follow), just start cooking a meal entirely from scratch one or two nights per week. There are so many ways to get started and I hope you do it in a way that works for you. It’s no good to try to be sustainable in a way that’s not sustainable for you. |
AuthorI'm a 40-something writer and smallholder living in the wilds of BC with my family, our small herd of Nigerian Dwarf Goats, chickens, ducks, dogs, and cats. Archives
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